Well, it’s official. Democracy is broken in America. Special interests have run amock, controlling our political system from the top to the bottom. People said it was broken when President Hayes ended the Reconstruction. People said it was broken when President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066.
But this time it’s for realz yo, people. Yes, we lost a non-existant virtual award about a blatantly corrupt quasi-professional sport. And the blogs that cover it. We lost! Ai! Some people say it’s an honor just to be nominated. Those people are losers.
Or so they say. They say that Addicted To Quack has won, but in the award ceremony video I saw, Addicted To Quack fumbled the award right as they got close to the goal-line. If you guys didn’t see the video, here it is:
And according to the EveryDayShouldBeSabbath rules, if you fumble the trophy forward into the endzone, you lose it and the California Golden Blogs takes over. Just part of the rule book. I think it’s Rule 0001A. Right before rule 0001B, which reads as follows:
"Urban Meyer is the Lord our God, who brought us out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before him."
"LET MY PEOPLE GO!"
Look, I don’t make the rules people, I just enforce them to my benefit. So, I call upon Addicted To Quack to do the right thing. Turn the non-existant virtual award over to its lawful owner: me. Or at the very least Ben Braun. I’m stalking him anyway, I can just pick it up easy next time I sneak into his Toyota Avalon.
People, democracy is dead. But don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos.