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    The Play

Thud

That was the sound of LaVelle Hawkins hitting the turf, unable to come up with another of Longshore’s desperate heaves into the end zone.  Or, perhaps it was the sound of me banging my head against the seat in front of me after yet another 3 and out.  More likely, however, it was the sound of Cal finally bottoming out into the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl in Ft. Worth, Texas.  Was a team ever less deserving of a bowl invitation?

Indeed, an outcome that I considered, less than a month ago, as having only a 4% likelihood has actually come to pass.  What happened?  Well, besides the Bears losing out, which seemed terribly unlikely, even after the Washington State game, the Pac-10 failed to get a second BCS bid.  While Arizona State was certainly deserving, the Fiesta Bowl never got a chance to pick them.  Indeed, it was the Rose Bowl’s loyalty to the Pac-10/Big 10 tradition that did them in.  Having lost Ohio State to the National Championship Game, the Rose selected Illinois to replace them instead of a much better Georgia team.  When the Orange Bowl then took Kansas, no more at-large bids were available, and the Fiesta could only choose between West Virginia and Hawai’i, both of whom earned automatic bids.  Arizona State then fell to the Holiday Bowl, where they’ll face Texas in a surprisingly good matchup for a game played on December 27th.

Anyway, the upshot of all this is that an incredibly disappointing season will end in a bowl game that absolutely defines ‘mediocrity’.  And our opponent in the Armed Forces Bowl?  Air Force.  Sounds like we’re at a competitive disadvantage already.

POSTED BY ragnarok ON 12.02.07 @ 8:35 pm | 4 Comments

Repeat National Champions!

Look, after the incredibly disappointing events of last night, I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to return to the Farm again.  I certainly wouldn’t expect you to make the drive back over there the very next day.  However, if you had, you might have seen a fabulous sight:  your California Golden Bears Water Polo team won its second consecutive National Championship!!!  Even more satisfying, for the second consecutive year, they took down top-ranked USC in the championship game.  Man, I love beating the Trojans at anything!
Now, do I know anything at all about water polo?  Not a chance.  But, unlike TwistNHook, losing doesn’t really arouse me so much.  I actually enjoy victory, and I certainly still love Cal, if perhaps not the current football team.  So when Cal is #1 in the land at anything, my reaction is a resounding ‘GO BEARS!!!’
(note:  I tried to find a good picture to go along with this post, but all I could find were photos of lots of men in Speedos.  Surprisingly, these don’t arouse me either, so I didn’t include any.  I’m not hatin’, it’s just that this is my blog, and I get to decide how many pictures of mostly naked men we include.  Turns out, that number is still zero.)
Aaaanyway, once again, Go Bears!  Thank you for giving me something else to pay attention to besides football!

POSTED BY ragnarok ON 12.02.07 @ 6:32 pm | 3 Comments

An amazing victory!

What an unbelievable weekend!  What a huge victory over our long-standing and bitter rival.  And thank god with our victory over said long-standing and bitter rival, we were able to keep the big trophy.

Yes, praise be to California for defeating our hated foes from Missouri to keep the BigXII/Pac10 Chopping Tool Trophy (which I may or may not have just made up and most likely doesn’t exist).  But man would it suck if we had lost a game this weekend to lose a trophy which could be used for the purposes of chopping. 

All Hail, Blue And Gold

Thy colors unfold

O’er loyal Califo- 

Wait, I’m being told that we actually did lose a "competative" sporting event to our bitter and long-standing rival this weekend to lose a trophy designed for chopping.  And I’m being told I was in attendance at that event and the above copy on the Cal-Missouri game was just a witty way to a)introduce the more important Big Game topic and b)defend against the lifetime of shame I just witnessed yesterday.  Well, while it might succeed at a), nothing save for amnesia could keep me from feeling a lifetime of shame from yesterday.   

Well, spekaing of a lifetime of shame, I have to tell you, the reader, something important.  This is not something I like to admit to people.  This is not a part of TwistNHook that I like about myself.  This is not a Twist N. Hook that I like personally.  But I have to be open, I have to be honest.    

Yes, I like that new Britney Spears album.  I can’t deny it! It just makes me want to dance.

Ok, now that we got that out of the way, let’s move on to the other secret shame I have.  I like failure.  I am part of a generation of Cal fans who came of age during the Holmoecaust.  We don’t know what to do with success.  The past few years while newer alums have been yelling "GO BEARS!!!!," I have been yelling "GO BEARS????"  

While I have no idea how to emotionally deal with success, I am more than well equiped to deal with failure.  It excites me.  And when I say "excite" I really mean "arouse."  It turns me on.  I really get off on failure.  This whole year while everybody else was "Saying oh no, not another Longshore interception just as it looked like we might tie the game up late in the 4th" I was touching myself inappropriately and yelling "Oh yeah, Nate, underthrow that shit, oh yeah, fucking underthrow the shit out of that, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." 

Tedford, when Robert Jordan nearly decapitated that camera-man yesterday I think I splooged all over section 228 row I.  And those are some pretty long rows.

This whole year has been an amazing, erotic journey for me (from Milan to Minsk).  It’s just been one new experience of failure after enother.  "Oh yeah, unknown Washington running back who nobody has ever heard of before, run another 60 yard run straight through the middle without getting touched, I’m going limp here!"

Tom Shneider pulling his hammy before the opener was a god-send.  Anytime I saw Kay sprint out there for a FG over 35 yards, it was just all "Schwing!" 

My wife even knows.  When she wants to steamy up our love-making, she knows all she has to do is just whisper "1st and Goal at the 1" into my ear.  And I am good to go.

Cal’s stunning inability to not score helps me score!

So, congratulations to Stanford and its fans.  Unlike to USC fans, I will be gracious in defeat to Stanford fans.  I remember what 2002 was like, it was an amazing feeling.  That is probably how you guys are feeling now.  Enjoy the axe, because in 2008, it’s coming home! 

Some post-game thoughts:

1.  The stadium is gorgeous.  Nobody loves Memorial than me, due to its a)general history and b)personal history.  But from an objective level, their new stadium is unbelievable.  It’s kinda like the Oakland Coliseum v. PacBell.  Sure, the Coliseum is not even in the same celestial orbit as PacBell, but I have memories dating back in the Coliseum to like 1986.  I wonder what Stanford fans think of the change.  

 

 

2.  Their whole campus is gorgeous.  We had a pre-game tailgate in a Rodan statue garden.  At Cal, we have pre-game tailgates in concrete parking lots.  At Stanford, you have it next to a giant art musem.   Shows the difference between the two schools, I think.

 

Rodan called this piece "The 2007 Cal Fan."

3.  Their announcer was so annoying.  The Cal announcer will just state the facts.  Their announcer will embellish it.  To wit, "Behind the block of X player, Y player glided to a Stanford first down!"  And when he screamed "THE AXE IS COMING HOME!" at the end, while the students swarmed the field, I wanted to kill somebody.  That was really the worst part.  I guess that is probably how Stanford fans felt in 2002.  Watching the other team’s fans swarm the field in the big rivalry game in person is one of the most brutal things.  Hearing the announcer basically beg his supervisors to let him run down there with them only made it worse.

4.  The writers strike is clearly hurting more than Jay Leno non-writing staff members.  That was one of the worst Stanford band performances I’ve ever seen.  For a Cal fan, I love the Stanford band.  If I had, yknow, been accepted to Stanford, I woulda joined it in a second.  But man did they have the worst writing ever.  They even had an interesting idea of "Controversial science theories."  Their best bit was probably Theory #2:  Female Funniness:

 

They had an intriguing thought, but the on the ground actual writing lacked hilarity merit.  I thought that the female funniness was good and then the only other good thing was the start of their halftime show when they said "And now a show you haven’t already seen!"  That was because the Cal band redid their Video Game show.  IIRC, the Cal Band doesn’t generally do a new show for a road game, but they did change around a few of the characters (instead of Oski v. Trojan it was Drum Major v. SubZero).   

I did love the burkahs that one section was wearing, tho.   Delightfully irreverent, as usual.

5.  I’ll leave the analysis to my more intelligent chums here at the California Golden Blogs.  But let’s just look at some quick drives here:

14:52 3 01:46 CAL 47 3 -3 Punt
11:12 3 01:25 CAL 26 3 -11 Punt
08:00 3 01:39 CAL 24 3 8 Punt
00:29 3 00:41 CAL 20 3 2 Punt
12:42 4 00:22 CAL 48 3 0 Punt
11:19 4 01:30 CAL 42 3 1 Interception

That went from the start of the 2nd half to 9:49 into the 4th quarter.  We apparently had 6 drives and got a grand total of -3 yards.  I don’t think I need to do much more analysis on this than to say that I feel incredibly aroused right now, just writing about this. 

6.  There was an article written from a Stanford student this past week about how Cal fans had reached a new low when they yelled "UC" over the Star Spangled Banner.  As to be expected from a Stanford student, it was fairly inane.  But I did feel that Cal fans reached a new low at the Big Game.  On one play, Longshore stayed down and was massaging his ankle.  The Cal sections around me started to break into a wild cheer.  That disturbed me.  A lot.  I wanted Cal to win as much as the next guy, but I’m not going to root for Longshore to get injured.  Some drunken buffoon behind me kept yelling "Look, I don’t want Longshore to get hurt, but if he could tear his ACL or something, that’d be great."  AI! 

What else is there to do but sigh and remember to GO BEARS! 

POSTED BY TwistNHook ON 12.02.07 @ 11:28 am | 13 Comments

2007 CFBA Nominee: Best Pac-10 Blog

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2008 Cal Baseball Schedule

    02/22 W 5-1 vs. Kansas State
    02/23 W 12-1 vs. Utah Valley State
    02/23 T 8-8 vs. Utah Valley State
    02/24 Rained Out vs. Kansas State
    02/28 W 14-4 vs. Fresno State
    02/29 L 5-7 vs. Missouri
    03/01 W 5-3 vs. San Diego State
    03/02 W 5-0 @ San Diego
    03/04 W 8-3 vs. Stanford
    03/07 W 11-3 vs. Northern Iowa
    03/08 W 4-1 @ Minnesota
    03/09 W 12-2 vs. New Mexico
    03/11 W 6-2 vs. San Francisco
    03/14 W 10-4 vs. Loyola Marymount
    03/15 W 21-9 vs. Loyola Marymount
    03/15 L 2-6 vs. Loyola Marymount
    03/16 W 6-1 vs. Loyola Marymount
    03/18 L 6-12 vs. Sacramento State
    03/20 W 9-1 @ Washington State
    03/21 W 7-4 @ Washington State
    03/22 L 4-5 @ Washington State
    03/25 L 5-7 @ Santa Clara
    03/28 W 6-1 vs. Long Beach State
    03/29 W 10-6 vs. Long Beach State
    03/30 W 4-3 vs. Long Beach State
    04/01 L 1-5 @ San Francisco
    04/02 W 5-4 vs. Fresno State
    04/04 W 5-2 vs. Oregon State
    04/05 W 9-3 vs. Oregon State
    04/06 L 2-9 vs. Oregon State
    04/07 T 5-5 vs. Stanford
    04/09 W 16-8 vs. Santa Clara
    04/11 L 1-17 @ USC
    04/12 L 5-11 @ USC
    04/13 W 13-11 @ USC
    04/15 W 14-1 @ Pacific
    04/18 W 10-5 vs. Washington
    04/19 L 4-7 vs. Washington
    04/20 W 5-4 vs. Washington
    04/22 W 10-8 vs. Cal Poly
    04/25 L 7-11 @ Arizona State
    04/26 L 7-11 @ Arizona State
    04/27 L 2-18 @ Arizona State
    04/30 L 2-8 @ Cal Poly
    05/02 W 11-5 vs. Arizona
    05/03 W 6-5 vs. Arizona
    05/04 L 5-16 vs. Arizona
    05/06 W 13-4 vs. UC Davis
    05/09 W 4-3 @ Stanford
    05/10 W 5-2 @ Stanford
    05/11 L 5-8 @ Stanford
    05/13 L 5-9 @ UC Davis
    05/23 vs. UCLA
    05/24 vs. UCLA
    05/25 vs. UCLA

2008 Cal Football Schedule

    08/30 vs. Michigan State
    09/06 @ Washington State
    09/13 @ Maryland
    09/20 BYE WEEK
    09/27 vs. Colorado State
    10/04 vs. Arizona State
    10/11 BYE WEEK
    10/18 @ Arizona
    10/25 vs. UCLA
    11/01 vs. Oregon
    11/08 @ USC
    11/15 @ Oregon State
    11/22 vs. Stanford
    11/29 BYE WEEK
    12/06 vs. Washington

2007-08 Cal Men's BB Schedule

    11/08 W 100-42 vs. Alaska (exhib.)
    11/14 W 67-59 vs. Southern Miss
    11/19 W 74-62 vs. Nicholls State
    11/24 W 77-69 vs. San Diego State
    11/28 W 74-68 @ Nevada
    12/01 W 86-72 vs. Missouri
    12/05 W 117-74 vs. Jackson State
    12/09 L 75-82 @ Kansas State
    12/20 W 74-57 vs. Delaware State
    12/22 L 65-67 vs. Utah
    12/28 W 102-65 vs. Long Beach St.
    12/29 W 86-72 vs. North Dakota St.
    01/03 W 92-82 vs. USC
    01/05 L 58-70 vs. UCLA
    01/10 L 70-79 @ Oregon
    01/12 W 69-59 @ Oregon State
    01/17 L 90-99 vs. Arizona State
    01/19 L 75-79 vs. Arizona
    01/26 L 77-82 vs. Stanford
    01/31 W 69-64 @ Washington State
    02/02 W 79-75 @ Washington
    02/07 W 81-76 vs. Oregon State
    02/09 L 70-92 vs. Oregon
    02/14 L 73-83 @ Arizona
    02/16 W 76-73 @ Arizona State
    02/24 L 69-79 @ Stanford
    02/28 L 49-70 vs. Washington State
    03/01 L 84-87 vs. Washington
    03/06 L 89-93 @ USC
    03/08 L 80-81 @ UCLA
    03/12 W 84-81 vs. Washington
    03/13 L 66-88 vs. UCLA
    03/19 W 68-66 vs. New Mexico
    03/24 L 56-73 @ Ohio State

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