Dynasties Do Happen
Those UCLA fans, they take their football seriously. Very seriously. SEC fan seriously. They are totally for serial about their football and, as you might know by now, they are NOT happy. They feel as if they have the talent to go at least 11-1, were it not for the one main limiting factor.
Karl Dorrell. This man:
"Note: Forehead not to real size"
They are like goats to his Chupacabra. He sucks the life out of them and…well…I fear to continue with this analogy. It’d only get more and more PG-13. And this can only anger the newest internet video sensations, Ken Crawford and/or Jason Snell. Tedford help us when Ken Crawford gets angry. He once killed a man with a trident! Man, how *that* escalated.
Anyway, to get away from Ken Crawford’s bloody, bloody past, thanks to the introwebs, UCLA football fans are not taking it anymore! This time, it’s personal! And I’m all out of bubblegum! I present……….Simba! Random movie cliche statement that only vaguely relates to UCLA football!
As this story notes over at BruinsNation, the webizens there are actually going to try to get an anti-Dorrell billboard erected. They feel that an anti-Dorrell billboard near the UCLA campus will bring a lot of negative publicity to the program and perhaps get Dorrell fired. As compared to the play of the team on the field…….which brings a lot of negative publicity to the program and most likely will get Dorrell fired.
This story at the same blog shows that they already have a mock idea up of how it’s gonna go:
How UCLA AD Dan Guerrero can ignore that, I do not know.
What this means is that all Cal fans (and really non-UCLA fans) need a call to arms! Karl Dorrell might get fired. UCLA might be able to fully utilize its bountiful recruiting area to field competative and elite football teams. We have to stop this! We have to get a pro-Dorrell billboard erected as soon as humanly possible! Now, they mention at BN, that it costs about 11g to get a billboard up. I don’t have that kind of money, I’m married to a princess (not really, but she sure acts like it). Ok, so does anybody have $11,000.00 they can give to me? Just make the check out to CASH. Then, I’ll get a pro-Dorrell billboard up and we’ll keep him there. Or buy 22,000 Marshawn jerseys and have the most kick ass Civil War re-enactment EVER. Marshawn fighting Marshawn! Fighting Marshawn! Fighting Ken Crawford! Foolish Ken Crawford, your trident can’t stop Marshawn
Anyway, to get away from Ken Crawford’s bloody, bloody past (again!), HydroTech has been kind enough to get a mockup going for us:
See! Dorrell is Bear Bryant in the making. Just give him time. Just give him some more time! Please UCLA AD Dan Guerrero. On behalf of all Cal fans everywhere, give him more time. At least like 15 more years. Maybe 20. But at least 15.
Any other pro-Dorrell billboard ideas out there? We can do this! We just need at least 11k.
P.S. This seemed a lot funnier BEFORE the OSU game. Nonetheless…………..
Goddamn, you’re funny! You brighten my mundane day so much. God bless you child…
Comment by Seth — October 17, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
Seth, I appreciate the kind words, but I don’t know if you’d still be laughing if you knew that I’m actually Bob Gregory! Yes, behind this thin veneer of Cal sports bloggery, I am the defensive co-ordinator for the football team. The very man you want to be fired!
How awkward!
Comment by TwistNHook — October 17, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
How did you know about the Trident!?! The last guy who found out about that… well, let’s just say it was a bloody, bloody episode.
Comment by Ken Crawford — October 17, 2007 @ 3:12 pm
Well, this certainly explains quite a bit. For the longest time I wondered quite perplexingly how you managed to run unquestionably, the very finest Cal football blog in existence. Those questions and others have now been answered. You… sir, are no better than Dennis Franchione. You have taken inside information and exploited it for personal gain, something I find particularly disgusting. What’s more disturbing is as a result you have neglected and been entirely derelict in your principal duty, fielding a competitive defense that mirrors those of USC’s past glory. You cannot have the best of both worlds, Greg, either blog or build a D. Which will it be?… We shall see!…
I apologize for my disparaging words directed directly at you immediately following the loss in various Cal blogs. I should have personally emailed you, phoned you, and faxed you! In hindsight it was a foolish thing to do, one which I will not repeat. Sometimes in life we say things following traumatic events we dearly wish we could take back. In your situation, I assure you this is not the case. I suggest and demand you watch all of the available game footage of the UCLA v Utah game. This is very similar to the game you clearly should have watched of Oregon St. v Cincinnati. I can only assume you were to busy at the time working on this fine blog. Good luck in your decision Coach, and Godspeed.
Your friend,
Seth
Comment by Seth — October 17, 2007 @ 3:23 pm