Five Stages of Grief
[Ragnarok’s note:] My wife (who posts here as AndBears) wrote this at work today. I thought I’d share:
I’ve noticed that many cal fans have been going through the 5 stages of grief…
The stages are:
Denial: The initial stage: "It can’t be happening."
*I saw this after the game. It actually took a while for fans to look away from the field and accept that it was over.
Anger: "Why ME? It’s not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
*One fan, after watching the game out of state with a room full of guests, actually threw a lamp into a wall… the guests left after that.
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my child(ren) graduate."
*Suddenly the Rose Bowl is a lot more prevalent in conversation…
Depression: "I’m so sad, why bother with anything?"
*Another fan actually found himself wandering around Berkeley and visiting random tailgates in the dark. I myself have been listening to lots of Coldplay.
Acceptance: "It’s going to be OK."
— Here I think is where we have yet to end up. I’m still waiting. But one thing I know that people are doing is talking about it. Humans discuss tragedy to come to grips with situations — it aligns our feelings to the groups and helps assign relative importance.
I.e. the lesson is that losing hurts in a very real way. Maybe we shouldn’t get too into a game, but if you weren’t in it then you wouldn’t be reading about Cal football at work…
In another note, here are the humorous 5 Stages:
After eating a blow fish, that has the deadly nerve toxic, Dr Hibbert
advises Homer that he is dying and will go thought 5 stages of grief:
Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go
through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I’m not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What’s after fear? What’s after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I’ll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.



I think that since I am the source of two of these stories, and since I was SINGLEHANDEDLY CARRYING THE CAA ON MY BACK while AndBears wrote this piece, I deserve to be a contributing writer on this blog. Thanks, though, to AndBears for talking me back down from the ledge.
In hindsight, though, he probably should have thrown it away.
Comment by cbkwit — October 15, 2007 @ 10:06 pm
For those dealing with bereavement in San Diego there is an ongoing NIMH funded study at the VA hospital in La Jolla looking at grief. The overall purpose of this study is to determine response to antidepressant medication administered with and without a grief therapy treatment. If you are interested contact information can be found at; http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01179568?term=complicated&rank=1
Comment by VA Hospital La Jolla — October 14, 2010 @ 4:35 pm
EDIT: THE POST ABOVE WAS MADE BY THE HEAL STUDY (not by the VA Hospital)
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