According to the National Weather Service’s forecast for tomorrow’s game, there is a 60% chance of rain. Anybody currently working in Concord would be shocked by this, where it seems like its a billion degrees. But hey, this is the government talking. They don’t get anything wrong. Except for everything.
"Fair enough, umbrellas away!" you might be thinking. Wait! Stop! It’s unlikely my mom will shoot, but there are other reasons you should stop! According to the Game Day Information and Memorial Stadium Guide, you can’t bring in umbrellas! Here is the list of prohibited items:
ITEMS PROHIBITED INSIDE STADIUM
For the Safety and Comfort of our Guests, the following items are prohibited inside Memorial Stadium:
Violation of these policies may be cause for non-entry, ejection from the stadium, and/or arrest.
Several notes. One, they do allow plastic water bottles in. So, those girls selling water for a buck at I-House, who said I couldn’t my water in were wrong. So very wrong. Two, I should probably leave all my Zachary RunningWolf For Mayor of Berkeley leaflets at home. And three, no umbrellas.
So, this leaves either this thing:
"Take off that red hat-looking thing, oh god, just leave it on, I can’t deal."
Or a poncho. Now, you could go stylish and snag one of these bad boys:
But that’s SO 2006. What’s in now?
"How lucky is it that the first Google image I click on for plastic Ponchos happens to be blue and gold?"
I bet the student store has something. Or failing that, you could try any number of fine poncho retailers such as P-Mart, PonchoVilla, and the ultra-modern "p." Either way, if you don’t want to get arrested or have an umbrella taken from you, it looks like it’s poncho, poncho, poncho. The other option is what I wore to the last Cal game that rained (USC 01): 8 layers of wool, 3 of polyester, and a giant hat. To wit:
"Jon Stan, is that you?"
Note: I was never the Drum Major, but their hat would probably keep water at least 8 feet away from your skull. At least. Either way, be prepared and let’s hope the only rain that happens tomorrow is passes raining down to our receivers.