No, I’m not talking about the 1999 comedic opus starring Brendon Frasier and Alicia Silverstone. But instead an article from the Daily Cal. See, I have heard rumors that in the Land Before Tedford, Cal football labored under other coaches. I know, I know, I’m as shocked as you are. In this Before Before time, surrounded by the misty veils of this still mostly molten planet, there was a coach so bad, a coach so evil to even name him would be to grant him full powers. And under this He Who Shall Not Be Named, Cal football was somehow not succesful. Somehow, we lost to our most hated rivals 7 straight years in a row. Somehow, we nearly went an entire year without a single victory. Nary a hippie would dare live in our trees back then.
Soon, the natives were restless. As half-empty stands filled up with "Fire He Who Shall Not Be Named" chants (not that catchy, anymore, is it?), the Daily Cal ran a photograph of a man at a game holding a sign that said "Fire Holm- woah, almost screwed up, thank Tedford I caught myself there. Many agreed, saying we needed to rise up as one and throw off the oppressive yoke. P.S. That man was my roommate, I was in that photo (in full band uniform no less), I have it somewhere on my computer and if I can find it, I’ll post it up.
Against the backdrop of these thousands and thousands of agitators, who cried out for freedom, beloved freedom, there was one man, one voice, one INSANELY CRAZY football player, who stood up to be heard. And, after he placed pen to paper, we, as a society, were gifted and lo were better off than before.
I present to you, FUJITA:
I have a vision that after Saturday afternoon, everybody who doesn’t know football from their ass will shut their goddamn mouths.
I have a vision of a packed house at Stanford’s stadium, with a sea of blue and gold that shows up excited about their team, regardless of what has happened these last nine weeks.
I have a vision of these same fans drinking themselves into oblivion prior to the game, but still being able to focus intently on how ridiculous the Stanford band is.
I have a vision that when Coach Holmoe speaks these last few times as the head coach of California, everyone affiliated with the program-players, coaches, fans, alumni and administrators-will pay attention to and understand the lesson he has given us all. He has displayed more class, dignity and selflessness than anyone in this program has ever witnessed.
I have a vision that the heckler who started the "Fire Holmoe" chants earlier this season will get trampled in the post-game celebration.
I have a vision that one time, this team will stand up and say "Fuck it-it doesn’t have to be like this anymore."
I have a vision of a Cal player grabbing somebody by the throat and squeezing until shit runs down his leg.
I have a vision of a Cal team playing its heart out for a glorious cause-a team that can play through all the skepticism and bull-shit simply because it loves the game of football.
I have a vision of the Axe-something I’ve never touched or even seen up close. I see myself carrying it back to the University of California, presenting it to my teammates, and watching scores of people pouring onto the field in absolute mayhem.
I have a vision of a Cal "die-hard" taking down the Stanford tree at full speed. This is something I think everyone has envisioned at one time or another. Why doesn’t somebody sack up and make it happen!?
Believe, and perhaps we can all share in this vision. Football is something everyone can get excited about. Players love to play, fans love to cheer, people love to come together-and that’s the way it is every Saturday.
But the Big Game is something different. Games like this make college football the most celebrated event in the country.
Games like this are where the student body unites and shares one overwhelming bond-total lawlessness.
Games like this are where players play outside the norm, simply because that’s the way these games were meant to be played.
And regardless of what many people think, this team still has a helluva lot to play for. We have endured enough criticism, we have been the brunt of enough jokes and we have been through more shit than you can possibly imagine.
And to the surprise of many, we have still come out together. That in itself makes me proud, because it reminds me of what we are here to do. We are competitors and this Saturday, we will compete.