I’m like Tantalus. Pushing the boulder up the hill.
MPC Computers Bowl
Who (is playing)? Miami Hurricanes (6-6) vs. Nevada Wolf Pack (8-4).
Where (are they playing)? Boise, Idaho.
When (is it all going down)? December 31, 7:30 PM on ESPN.
First thoughts: I wonder how many Miami players can find Idaho on a map.
Why (should you watch)? Because it’ll be fun to watch Charlie Jones not play at all. Did you know he was a higher ranked recruit than the Man They Call Marshawn? Somebody made a boo-boo!
Who (is playing)? Tennessee Volunteers (9-3) vs. Penn State Nittany Lions (8-4).
Where (are they playing)? Tampa.
When (is it all going down)? January 1, 11 AM on ESPN.
First thoughts: Ring in the New Year the same way you rang in the 2005 Cal football season! With lots of Ainge to Meachem. Also, I really enjoy Outback steakhouse. Especially their Bloomin’ Onions.
Why (should you watch)? To reaffirm yourself that, yes, Tennessee isn’t that bad, and it’s not all Syd’Quan Thompson’s fault.
AT&T Cotton Bowl
Who (is playing)? Auburn Tigers (10-2) vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers (9-3).
Where (are they playing)? Dallas.
When (is it all going down)? January 1, 11:30 AM on FOX.
First thoughts: Um, it should be a good game?
Why (should you watch)? To watch the dumbest team in America play! Oh wait, that was the Raiders under Bill Callahan, not the Cornhuskers.
Toyota Gator Bowl
Who (is playing)? West Virginia Mountaineers (10-2) vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (9-3).
Where (are they playing)? Jacksonville.
When (is it all going down)? January 1, 1 PM on CBS.
First thoughts: AWESOME, another chance for the no. 1 wide receiver in the country to get overthrown ten times on national television because his quarterback sucks!
Why (should you watch)? It’s really hard to tell that Calvin Johnson is any good, because Reggie Ball is about as accurate as me throwing a football. I hesitate to say he’s overrated because literally everyone seems to like him, but I mean…even the best wide receiver in the country should be able to get a few catches just from being incredibly wide open in the college game. Right?
Capital One Bowl
Who (is playing)? Arkansas Razorbacks (10-3) vs. Wisconsin Badgers (11-1).
Where (are they playing)? Orlando.
When (is it all going down)? January 1, 1 PM on ABC.
First thoughts: Raise your hand if you knew Wisconsin only had one loss. Also, I really enjoy those Mascot challenge commercials.
Why (should you watch)? Because you’ll be recovering from catching hypothermia in Times Square the night before if you’re me. Actually, fuck that, that’s retarded. Why does anyone spend hours standing in 10 degree weather to watch some ball drop anyway?
BCS games next. Hip hop hooray!